To Katie Armstrong Siegal

You were my brothers daughter. I have no respect for you. He loved you, you never even had a funeral service for him. May you rot in the streets. I want NOTHING TO DO with you.

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Not easy

I got news last week that my brother had been appointed a guardian, because he had been diagnosed with Leukemia, and wanted to go home from the hospital. It is for forced chemo. I love my brother, we are the only two of 11 children left. Please pray for him. His name is Beal beal

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Concerns

I have one son. He has not always acted wisely, in fact  he  has acted extremely foolishly when it has come to taking responsibility and growing up. However, because of his fears he is  alone. I   am getting old  and when I die he will have  no one, no close family no one who he can turn too, no one he can depend on, because  he   refused to allow anyone to  depend upon him. -walking-across-footbridge-Photo-GETTY

I know that I have very few years left, and he is still not settled. Makes excuses why he can”t be married. Why he is so  afraid of taking hold of the horns of life and sharing good times with bad times with anyone, that it is frightening to me. Not for myself, but for him.

This past Thanksgiving, he tried to  manipulate me with meeting another “girlfriend” that he has not made a commitment to and won’t because  he hasn’t got it altogether, he says both agreed he is not making enough money and was yet looking for another job because he was “laid off” when they found out he hadn’t been truthful  about his experiences a month ago when they hired him.

I blew up, too many times in the past I have been blamed for his lack of commitment leaving me to  pick up pieces, or being blamed for his failures. I  will not do it again. I have been called names by his “previous girlfriends” one of  which he had a child with. I  cannot allow another one into my life.

I have requested prayer for him, and he swears this one is the one, but again, there is too many reasons why he can’t afford a wife. Please  pray for him. I  am the only living relative  who is left to him. I am old. Worn out and alone except for Jesus.

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I Don’t Know About Tomorrow

This has been one of my favorite songs since I was a young child in that little country church, where we use to sing it.

It has given me comfort through the many sorrows, storms, and broken heart of betrayal by those I cared for.  The Overwhelming grief caused by the death of those who cared for me, brothers, sisters, mother, father, beloved grandmothers, and my dearly loved husband.  I have learned that Jesus was always there with me, through it all.

 

I don’t know how people face life without Him. I have always felt sorry for those who didn’t have anyone to hold onto when life suddenly goes so wrong.

He has always been my comfort, my Lord even when sorrow was so overwhelming I didn’t think I could breath, much less live. He was always there to see me through, as he will be forever. Thank you so much Lord I love you with all my heart.

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This Too Shall Pass

2 Corinthians 4: 17-18For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;  While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

During the midst of a storm, we tend to forget that it is temporary. That is why I wrote the bloraging stormg temporal today.  Everything that we see here is shifting sand, nothing that is not eternal will last. A mans life is but a vapor here today and gone tomorrow. So when we find ourselves in despair at the latest storm we have to look up and put our trust in Jesus who holds us in the hollow of HIS hand.

Encourage ourselves that this is temporary and it will not last.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS Promises of Psalms 37

So, you’ve fallen behind—
Oh, no, not again.
And you can see that you are
Hard-pressed against a wind
That hits just like a hammer
On a nail that’s bent—
Oh no, not again.
Oh no, not again.

Oh, I know these days are hard
And I know it’s hard to last
But, believe you me,
Just sturdy up your heart
And this too shall pass.

If there are wars being waged
But they’re not your voice
And if good love has gone away
But it wasn’t by choice—
If it’s out of your hands
But you just can’t let go
And if there’s a whole lot on your mind
But a whole lotta no one to show…

Oh, I know these days are hard
And I know it’s hard to last
But, believe you me,
Just sturdy up your heart
And this too shall pass.

So, you’ve fallen behind—
Oh, no, not again.
And you can see that you are
Hard-pressed against a wind
That hits just like a hammer
On a nail already bent—
Oh no, not again.
Oh no, not again.

Oh, I know these days are hard
And I know it’s hard to last
But, believe you me,
Just sturdy up your heart
And this too shall pass.

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The Garden

Seed Time and HarvestGardens are beautiful things, whether they be vegetables or flowers, or orchards. I have several places set apart in my yard that are private, and give me rest. As the orchard becomes more mature, there will be so much more privacy.

There is something in the soul of man, that wants to get away and relax. I see it in my son when he comes out here, and in my nephew who has his own hide-away. A place to get away from the hub bub of every day life,  of problems, and just the noise of the world. A place to unwind, and be at peace with God and self.

for-the-birdsIf I had all the money in the world I would still plant a garden.  It would be more valuable for peace of mind than anything in the world. A garden reminds me of heaven.

No wonder God walked with Adam in the Garden in the cool of the evening. Can you imagine that first Garden? Before weeds. When flowers, vegetables grew without hindrances? Something of the earth calls us back to the earth.

Gen 2:8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
Gen 2:9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

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Things You Wish You Never Have to Write About

sharp-261x300I got the call on Thursday morning, from my nephew, and it almost knocked me down.

My baby sister had died in her sleep during the night. She had been ill for several years, going in for blood transfusions, and keeping an eye on the count. But she always  pulled through, this time she  didn’t and it was  a shock to all of  us.

She was born Aug 18, 1957-Died June 5, 2014 It is that small dash I will always remember. She could be happy, cheerful, loving, and even depressing at times. But she was Beck, what could you say. All the memories come flooding back as I remember her as a baby,  a child, a young mother and a wife. She was my little sister, and the tears  well up when I think of her now.

The memories of her laughter, her tears, her happiness and her pain will be with me forever. A life time of  memories  for someone memorable.

Becky I love you and miss you.
Your Sister Sue

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